Apologies for the conjoined text so far, guys, but I sorted it out. :) Today was yet another lesson in the wily ways of the world. Had NAPFA, got it done with, and went home.





It sucks that I've to bring this to my blog, but if that's the only way I'm going to be able to make my feelings known, so be it.



I hate having to see people change. I've always admired it when people don't expect anything in return for their help, but is loyal friendship too much to ask for? Sometimes I can't even trust anyone anymore. What's with this sudden change in you? What the hell did I do? You talk to me as and when you like, sit with me during recess as and when you like, and I'm supposed to take it lying down? People have their own pride, it's just that they choose not to show it!



Yes, it's true that I can be hurtful, but it will NEVER be without a reason. I can't bring myself to just throw my words around. If I ever am in the slightest bit of fault, I wouldn't bother putting the blame on others. I'd apologise to them myself. So, I've come to a decision. I don't care if I'm going to be without lunch/recess buddies or people to be in a group with for the rest of the year. At least I'll be with people whom I care for, and I can be assured that they care for me as well.




I'm bloody SIXTEEN already, and I'm going to have to fend for myself, like I've been trying to do ever since it came to the point where people started using me. I have parents to care for, and I'm doing my very best to not make them angry. I'm really trying my best to study hard so that both my family and I will have a peace of mind about my future. I'm not in a position to ruin their mental and physical health.



You can gossip all you want, spread all the lies you want, write all the hurtful status updates and blog posts you want, but it's not going to hurt me. It's not like it hasn't happened. It's just that I didn't expect you to be doing it, and it sucks that you're not seeing the other side of them story.





I don't really talk to friends about my problems, I just keep it inside, bury the hurt, and hope it will go away till the next time when all this mess starts again. So just because I don't cry in public, or vent my anger on people, it doesn't mean that I don't have problems! I'm a normal teenager too, and I have the same worries as anyone else. But the least you could do as a friend is to not add to them, right?





Thanks a whole lot, though. But I really don't have the time for this, nor do I have the energy. G