about
Gowri K
120195, BtVSS 2008-11, ELDDS Media & Publicity
British crowns, emerald green, champagne gold, pralines, Russell Brand
A R Rahman, SJ, Meryl Streep, Little Miss Sunshine :)
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Monday, March 22, 2010
A plea. I hope this is some sort of catharsis. @ 6:29 AM
It's that time.
It's that time when you can't decide what to do with yourself.
It's that time when you realise you've been living your life without a clue.
It's that time when you feel like a complete wh--- (pardon the word) for talking too much,
wanting too much, looking at too much, giving yourself away too much.
I'm watching my life slip away through the cracks of my fingers, like the gloves off a showgirl's arms.
While I am standing with my back against the wall.
If only I was detached from my body,
looking down on myself, looking down on the things I do, say, thought about
the stares I gave
the glances I threw
the tears I shed
the pillows I soaked
Of course I can't have everything in the world
But there was a time where I couldn't care anymore
Of course my steadfast belief in maintaining decorum still lies within
But I began to break tradition as I moved into my teens
I stopped caring about propriety,
in terms of language.
I started getting into dilemmas
or rather allowing myself to have them
I started thinking more
worrying
more
building good friendships with some people
and getting deeply hurt by them as well
Perhaps this gives people who can't be bothered to know me well before passing redundant judgement, a little insight into why I am the way I am.
When you give so much to people, you expect that same level from them, or in some cases, nothing.
So,
before the ones you used to trust lose their trust in you
open up to them.
don't leave them in the lurch by pretending they're not there.
who knows, they could have been tired of being broken down repeatedly by your ignorance, and decided not to talk to you.
Then what's the meaning of your friendship?
The meaning of those chain-mail, friendship-cherishing messages?
A friendship that strong is definitely NOT worth giving up on.
I hope you guys understand what I mean.
This note is to anyone who is undergoing any sort of difficulty, emotionally and physically.
I'm not going to say Take it easy.
I'm not going to say Chill.
I'm not going to say Move On With Life.
Just let it out. Scream. Do something that involves anything but tantrums. I hate tantrums. I don't think I've ever thrown one in my life, ever.
I find it quite ironic that I keep mentioning the topic of changing attitudes and perceptions, especially in the recent Student Councillors' Envisioning Camp 2010, but find myself unable to bring it about in my own life and those of others.
Like the great poet Maya Angelou said (I also wrote this in my camp reflection), if you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
I'm not going to tell you to stop whining like a spoilt brat on steroids.
It is human to do so, and i'm not going to contradict myself by saying it's wrong.
But while you can, while you have the willpower and the support from within YOURSELF to do so, CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE.
It's not too late.
I hope this note served as some sort of emotional release to you, to anyone out there. You're not alone, and this boat is being shared by almost everyone, believe it or not.
To err is human. Try to accept some things for what they are, some people for who they are.
Stay strong, my friends.
gowri k.
It's that time when you can't decide what to do with yourself.
It's that time when you realise you've been living your life without a clue.
It's that time when you feel like a complete wh--- (pardon the word) for talking too much,
wanting too much, looking at too much, giving yourself away too much.
I'm watching my life slip away through the cracks of my fingers, like the gloves off a showgirl's arms.
While I am standing with my back against the wall.
If only I was detached from my body,
looking down on myself, looking down on the things I do, say, thought about
the stares I gave
the glances I threw
the tears I shed
the pillows I soaked
Of course I can't have everything in the world
But there was a time where I couldn't care anymore
Of course my steadfast belief in maintaining decorum still lies within
But I began to break tradition as I moved into my teens
I stopped caring about propriety,
in terms of language.
I started getting into dilemmas
or rather allowing myself to have them
I started thinking more
worrying
more
building good friendships with some people
and getting deeply hurt by them as well
Perhaps this gives people who can't be bothered to know me well before passing redundant judgement, a little insight into why I am the way I am.
When you give so much to people, you expect that same level from them, or in some cases, nothing.
So,
before the ones you used to trust lose their trust in you
open up to them.
don't leave them in the lurch by pretending they're not there.
who knows, they could have been tired of being broken down repeatedly by your ignorance, and decided not to talk to you.
Then what's the meaning of your friendship?
The meaning of those chain-mail, friendship-cherishing messages?
A friendship that strong is definitely NOT worth giving up on.
I hope you guys understand what I mean.
This note is to anyone who is undergoing any sort of difficulty, emotionally and physically.
I'm not going to say Take it easy.
I'm not going to say Chill.
I'm not going to say Move On With Life.
Just let it out. Scream. Do something that involves anything but tantrums. I hate tantrums. I don't think I've ever thrown one in my life, ever.
I find it quite ironic that I keep mentioning the topic of changing attitudes and perceptions, especially in the recent Student Councillors' Envisioning Camp 2010, but find myself unable to bring it about in my own life and those of others.
Like the great poet Maya Angelou said (I also wrote this in my camp reflection), if you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
I'm not going to tell you to stop whining like a spoilt brat on steroids.
It is human to do so, and i'm not going to contradict myself by saying it's wrong.
But while you can, while you have the willpower and the support from within YOURSELF to do so, CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE.
It's not too late.
I hope this note served as some sort of emotional release to you, to anyone out there. You're not alone, and this boat is being shared by almost everyone, believe it or not.
To err is human. Try to accept some things for what they are, some people for who they are.
Stay strong, my friends.
gowri k.