I hate the dirty games you play.


If you want to find out my marks, ask me to my face.


Don't be a bloody coward.


When I'm sitting alone at lunch,


Don't sit behind me and watch how I'm coping with my newfound solitude.


I absolutely loathe it.


Fix yourself.



It's surprising how much artistic freedom can do for immensely talented people. No wonder they say YG is a really good company. :)


The majority of the songs I've been listening to are from GD&TOP/Big Bang, for nearly three days (and counting).

- okay GD's version of This Love (yes, by Maroon 5) is playing in my ears.


I've been reading some articles on YG and how they handle their artistes, they really give them the freedom to produce, write and explore new genres with their music. And look what it's done. (looks up) I think they're the ones to change Kpop. I mean, the music so far from the idol groups, but I realize I've been hearing a lot of synth. Just listen to GD&TOP's album, and you'll know why I've been listening to them so much. A standout is the Intro (it contains a sample from an English song) and Oh Yeah (ft. Park Bom). Oh god, don't even get me started on that song. :) Just watch the performances and you'll know why.



And of course, the artistes themselves. I really did notice GD for this fashion. This coming from a person who's been known to go out with more than 5 rings on both hands. His energy is infectious, and when he's performing ' High High' it really looks like he IS that, HIGH. TOP too, his charisma spews out from my iPod screen. And when you put translated lyrics to their songs, you realize where their inspiration comes from, the phrasing of their lyrics, their intonation, sigh.



Rest assured, I'm not going anywhere from Super Junior. I still respect (and listen to) them. It's just that it's nice to listen to a breath of fresh air, something that kinda blows the cutesy stuff out of the water. People have got to reinvent kpop, before it turns into something that can be lampooned.



You Google, you Youtube,
You 'Save picture as'
To feed your fetish
You talk about them during lunch
Breakfast
And when your mouth isn't full
During dinner
But it's like breathing minted oxygen (?)
It's not like I can fight this 'spew' from me
But I'm...loving what I'm hearing.


- G

Labels: g-dragon, gd, GDTOP, kpop, top

I have a pretty good feeling about MT. Not so much for Paper 2, but Paper 1...I feel that this may be the silver lining I've been looking for.

After nearly an hour of watching SJ videos on YT, I think I've relieved some stress. No one's at home now, so I'm actually laughing all I want.

And I wanted to blog because I felt like putting my thoughts in words, not about exams, but about a group of people.

You know, there's always someone who is tactless enough to insult you to your face? And the worst thing is that they think they are absolutely justified in doing it. Dear....anyone who may be guilty of this, please note that when you are insulting someone to their face, you do not start off by saying "No offense". Apparently, you meant to hurt them, and to offend them. Also, you don't know what they may be going through. And the issue you're insulting them about may be very sensitive. Worst still, if you've insulted them in front of other people, I wish you all the best for your karma. Kindly show a bit of sensitivity, even if you're not used to it. Words cut more deeply than you think.

I've been getting a lot of this from certain people, and it sickens me. Seriously, don't insult others unless you're perfect, or in any way, better than them. You hurt someone, and then talk about being pure and praying to God piously. Sort yourself out, thank you very much.

_________________________________________________-

However...

You can choose to listen to people who know absolutely nothing about you and let yourself be hurt, or you can choose to live life by your principles; while smiling in the face of hardship. Ultimately, you choose what you feel. Haters are confused admirers.

Song of the moment: Who - 5 O'Clock Heroes ft. Agyness Deyn (yes, the model, and yes, she sings)

http://youtu.be/dWvw6ZpK1j4

I'm stressed up.
I'm compiling the massive list of things I've done for the Student Strengths Survey, so Ms Toh will know that I'm justified in handing it up late.
I'm retrieving pictures from my hard disk and facebook and god knows where else for a teacher, and for the survey.
I'm cramming in maths when I'm not doing the above.



But I'm alright.
I've made peace with myself.
And although it's taking some time to get used to doing things alone, I think I'm holding up just fine.



Thank you, you know who you are.


G

I think I should be doing something related to psychology in the future. I think I'd like to find out what makes us behave the way we do.



Since I've been known around school, I've been shamelessly (mis)judged over and over again, and that too, from an impressionable age. From an age where one's self-esteem is being developed.



After commenting on a few Facebook status updates this week and starting little debates all around, I'm still trying to put the situation into perspective.



For example, we write our FB status updates knowing full well they'll be scrutinized, used to reflect who we are. Some of us craft them, eliminating anything offensive. Some of us just blurt what's in our minds, not bothering about the fact that there will be people out there to counter what we say (eg. the conversation Bom Marielle and I had regarding Arthur Golden's credibility as an author.)



We all are up for judgement the day we are born. Even this very blog post is going to be scrutinized. In the hospital ward, relatives start to crowd around and say things along the lines of 'Looks like his mum/Looks like her dad/She's too light/He's too chubby/He'll grow up to be very sickly/She's inherited her mother's figure' So on and so forth. By the way, I'm not speaking from experience, my parents can vouch for that.



When we're in school, that's when I guess, the claws come out. In primary school, it starts off with subtle ostracization. Then it culminates in name-calling and even subtler ostracization.



In secondary school, that's when we have a broader picture of the world, its' wily ways, and the ways in which to out-run, out-score and out-wit.



Suddenly life becomes all about succeeding. I'm not saying success isn't important, I'm just rueing the fact that these days, it's all one thinks about. We have to be 10 steps ahead of each other, and the ways in which we try are endless.



Some of us sacrifice friendship, and ironically we see culture permeated with images and idealogies that our friends are the ones we turn to for help most of the time, because the generation gap with our parents is too BLOODY HARD TO BRIDGE. (?) Some of us sacrifice something that no one can live without: family. I'll let you guys form your own conclusions about that.



From my point of view, I see that we all have become so competitive nowadays, we think twice about even lending a friend notes. 'Will this person be better than me if he/she borrows this?" "Will his/her bad luck get to me?" "Will I die in my sleep after this?" Ridiculous questions, nebulous train of thought.



And the aspect which has contributed to a huge part of - say, my worries - sacrificing friendship. A few weeks ago, for the umpteenth time, I was snubbed by a friend of mine, after which my patience ran out. I took it online (and I'm admitting to it), because confrontation would be unbearable; my ears have suffered enough already. So this friend counter-attacked, on many sites as possible, shamelessly turning the tables. And for her (offline) promotions, she presumably spread things that weren't true about me. The whole incident has made me even more reluctant to trust people,but it's also taught me a lesson. Looking back on the photographs, the times, conversations, it hurts, but as long as I know I'm telling the truth on my side, and I've stood up for myself, I have a peace of mind about this.




I'm not saying that I'm new to gossip and rumours. After all, I've been made to deal with it from the time I was nine. It's just when it comes from the person you least expect it to, it hurts tenfold. And now I'm 16; the pain is dull. The needles are as sharp as ever, but my hide is thicker than before. I can't wrap myself in a banner that says, "I am pure, you have nothing to hate on me." We all have our shortcomings! I won't say that I'm completely refined. I still have problems keeping my voice down when I'm enthusiastic about something. I get angry quickly about certain issues.



However, I can't be bothered to refute every misconception about me, and believe me, I have tried. Although, there were some people who gave me the cold shoulder in Sec 1and 2. It went beyond ignoring; I'll skip the details. But now, we are on talking terms. Irregardless of their sincerity, at least we are on talking terms. And the reason is that they figure out, I'm not as stuck-up, or cold as they thought I would be. Transparency is necessary. Do we make friends assuming they're going to betray us later on? Do we fall in love thinking that the other party isn't going to be truthful?



I just wish people would be more sincere. If you don't mean it, don't say it. If you really cherish your friends, cherish them unconditionally. Don't be with them just because they make you feel better about yourself, and leave them at lunchtime.



Thank you to the wonderful people in my life; my friends and family, for reminding me that you're there for me.



You may know of her, but do you really know her. You know his name, but do you know his story. You might have heard what he, she or they have done.. but you don't know what they've been through. So don't judge or spread the lies.. if you really want to know the truth, make the effort to be part of their lives.

- via Matthew Zachary Liu

Today was such a 'mung' day that the only reason i'm typing is this is because of what I did after school. We were dismissed at 11am, because of Speech Day, so I had 2 periods of math, 2 free periods, and 1 period of english. During free period, Jian Hong and I were getting mindscrewed due to differentiation. After completing chem, we were like 'screw this'; he took a nap, I went on reading my book. And it seems Mr Quake thinks it's a good book. Good to know he approves my choice, but I'll read any murder mystery. Just not the ones involving sororities and high-school shit.




During English period, we went to the Professional Sharing Room and played Rebus Games. They're the best. We were all divided into groups; I was with Yuan Heng, Wesley, Tian Lin and Yui Lun (blame Wesley's repeated chanting of their chinese names or is it just my bloody irreverence?) Rebus games are really good, as in they stimulate your brain to think beyond what you see, and replace pictures with numbers, vice versa, and analyze literal meanings of words or phases. Alright, convoluted enough. Google!! .


Came home at around 12+, rested, bathed, and left for Lot 1 with Mum. It was a reward for getting Top In English for the level. After Lot 1, we train-ed to WM to meet Sis. And Mum got me the ultimate gift: this pair of earrings from B'dazzle, that I'd been (subconsciously) eyeing. Aside from some things from Comics Connection, I realised I bought a heck lot of jewellery, from Cotton On, Aries and B'dazzle. Cotton On should really work on their jewellery range: the three-finger rings are generic enough, they should have experimented more on a single object and expanded it to fit the width of all three fingers. As the mobile uploads on FB will show, because I can't upload the pictures to Blogger. .


It's been a great Friday. (nope, don't you dare start on that bloody song) .

And it's full revision mode from now on, I've had enough fun for a weekend today. :).
_______________________________________-..


.


I'm not going to say anything further than this, because there's a reason why I'm myself, and you're what you make yourself to be. .


There are definitely many people who'll agree on this, you've no right to be saying how immature others are, when you know, deep inside yourself, that you're never going to be as mature or as refined as they are. How can you bring yourself to do that? I'm not saying this just for myself, I'm saying this for the tons of other people you have flamed on Facebook. And now it's me, hmm? Charming. Look at yourself first, and then pick out the flaws in other people that you don't have, alright?! .



Talk all you want. I'm not going to care at all. It's only making me stronger.



Make all the ridiculous accusations you want. I can't be bothered to refute them, you're just another one of those people who've misunderstood me.


Be the gossip-monger (now I'm sincerely going to be rude!) you are and spread all you want.



Because just so you know, it's all going to come back to you. .


"Now about friendship. Many of us try to drug ourselves that friendship is essential in our lives. Have we ever tried to slow down and sensibly think about the times we need or do not need friendship?" - Quoted from a friend's blog; shan't mention the friend's name since your blog is private :)











LAUNCHING SOON! ____________________________________________________- The weather... Ahh, what can I say about the weather that hasn't already been said? Yesterday it was amazing in the evening, it was sweltering in the morning/afternoon, but now... it's just cold. I keep hearing the hissing sound of cars on the slick roads. But I'm not complaining, it's perfect weather to snuggle in bed listening to LYKKE LI , who by the way, is my new favourite artist of the moment. That voice of hers is INDESCRIBABLE.

Tomorrow, it's hello to yet another week of school. And there's 2.4km re-run tomorrow as well. My feelings towards NAPFA couldn't be more 'heck-care'. Because by the time Sec 4 rolls around, I think a lot of people have developed that IDGAF/H/H/S attitude to a lot of stuff, but for me, NAPFA is one of those things. I know the importance of ensuring you're fit and all, and leaving the school with a good record, but really, how relevant, or accurate is it? It's a big change for me, because as far as I can remember, I've never been nonchalant towards anything in school. Maybe there are exceptions, but NAPFA does seem major. Oh well. I have better things weighing on my mind.

_______________________________________________-

To: the person who wrote on my tagboard recently

If you think you're going to bring me down with your words, think again. As long as there is a story to be told, issues to be spoken up for, I will continue writing. Deal with it, or go and read some thing else, like say, the Garudapuranam?

_________________________________________________- To: Whom it may concern My main problem, in points, so it shall be easier for you to read, and you will not have to call anyone to your laptop, or tell people to read, to understand it for you. 1. I wait at a table during recess if I'm there earlier than you and the rest. 2. And I am alone. 3. Would you like that? 4. Maybe you've been in that position before. 5. Did you like it? 6. So I'm waiting. 7.And I see you sit at another table with the rest, and you know fully well that I'm sitting somewhere else. 8. And seeing that, I swallow my pride, and I walk over to your table, and join you. 9. You guys act as if nothing has happened, not even an apology, or clarification. 10. So it's come to a point where I'm sick of it. 11. And I realise that I'm not a bloody pushover. 12. Do you know what that is? 13. Maybe you've been in that position before.

G

Labels: cold, garudapuranam, higher ground, insult, napfa, stuff yourself, tagboard, weather

Apologies for the conjoined text so far, guys, but I sorted it out. :) Today was yet another lesson in the wily ways of the world. Had NAPFA, got it done with, and went home.





It sucks that I've to bring this to my blog, but if that's the only way I'm going to be able to make my feelings known, so be it.



I hate having to see people change. I've always admired it when people don't expect anything in return for their help, but is loyal friendship too much to ask for? Sometimes I can't even trust anyone anymore. What's with this sudden change in you? What the hell did I do? You talk to me as and when you like, sit with me during recess as and when you like, and I'm supposed to take it lying down? People have their own pride, it's just that they choose not to show it!



Yes, it's true that I can be hurtful, but it will NEVER be without a reason. I can't bring myself to just throw my words around. If I ever am in the slightest bit of fault, I wouldn't bother putting the blame on others. I'd apologise to them myself. So, I've come to a decision. I don't care if I'm going to be without lunch/recess buddies or people to be in a group with for the rest of the year. At least I'll be with people whom I care for, and I can be assured that they care for me as well.




I'm bloody SIXTEEN already, and I'm going to have to fend for myself, like I've been trying to do ever since it came to the point where people started using me. I have parents to care for, and I'm doing my very best to not make them angry. I'm really trying my best to study hard so that both my family and I will have a peace of mind about my future. I'm not in a position to ruin their mental and physical health.



You can gossip all you want, spread all the lies you want, write all the hurtful status updates and blog posts you want, but it's not going to hurt me. It's not like it hasn't happened. It's just that I didn't expect you to be doing it, and it sucks that you're not seeing the other side of them story.





I don't really talk to friends about my problems, I just keep it inside, bury the hurt, and hope it will go away till the next time when all this mess starts again. So just because I don't cry in public, or vent my anger on people, it doesn't mean that I don't have problems! I'm a normal teenager too, and I have the same worries as anyone else. But the least you could do as a friend is to not add to them, right?





Thanks a whole lot, though. But I really don't have the time for this, nor do I have the energy. G

You treat people like they're pushovers, and you talk to them when you feel like it. And yet you complain about how people treat you, and you have the nerve to kick up a fuss when people question you nicely about your behaviour. Just because you have problems that you can't do anything about, it doesn't mean you have the license to shout and curse at people. When you have someone to occupy your thoughts, you part the bloody sea to get them involved in everything you do, without bothering about how the other people involved feel about it. Do something about yourself, will you?